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25 years old.

No degree, no nothing. I know this isn’t true but it’s hard to be in a Fil-Chi family with the matriarch still around.
A matriarch who offers to pay for your college education but takes it back because “photography won’t get you anywhere.” and she’d prefer me to be an “abugago” instead. Well then, that well just ran dry. I think it’s an imposition to get my parents to pay for my schooling at this time since I’ve actually been working in the family company for almost five years now.

The only thing keeping me sane is photography and writing; sadly, that isn’t really saying much. I’m currently in the midst of a seven day stand with me sleeping 1-2 hours per day. I’ve had a total of 9 hours sleep in the past week. So, out of the past 168 hours, only nine were used for recovery. Cat naps here and there, in the car, random lulls, during the radio coverage of the Pacquiao/Clottey match. This is getting serious and it won’t be very long until my body shuts down to hibernate. It doesn’t help that I’m not thinking as straight as I would like.

after a few weeks of not writing, this felt good.

“writing, really”

I don’t do my blog justice. I’ve tried many, many things to keep me creative and very few of them work. It doesn’t work because I keep trying to force an order onto myself. In my heart, I’m a nomad. I can’t just stay put no matter how easy or convenient it is for me. I can’t be complacent because I just end up dead in the water with nothing actually relevant to do. I’ve never had any real structure in my life, I play everyday by ear, making plans as the day progresses. The way I live my life is the same way I should write, haphazardly, with the words spilling out of my brain and finding their way onto the paper and keypad.

I’m not saying that convenience and having a place to rest my head on at the end of the day is bad. It’s just that when I settle into a rhythm I usually find myself turning sedentary and this is what kills me. I miss walking along Ortigas and reaching Shangri-la(something which I can’t do without busting my knees now) and then walking back(or taking a jeep) along Shaw. It’s days like these that I wish I had an ACTUAL job that required moving around.

I actually miss the World Youth Days when I get to thinking like this. Even though I’ve told myself that I’m never going on another one I have to admit that the prospect of living in hostels/hotels/motels while moving around in buses and trains appeals to me, never mind the constant prayer, mass everyday and the squawking of a RAVEN MAN. Hiking would be good too, did you know hiking is a sport? Seriously, long distance cross country hiking is an honest-to-goodness sport somewhere. A friend told me that hikers get the best photos, they just need to have a camera with them, that is SO attractive to me.

Touring Europe has no pull for me, I’m too biased. I’ll end up in Chipiona or Seville to visit my sister and her family or in Rome to visit the Lanzanis. What I want to do is wander, and that is NEVER advised. I can’t just go on some “spirit quest” to find myself now, I’m five years too late. At most I have the random outings with friends to see places in MY OWN country that I’ve never been to. Each and every time, my mind gets blown apart. I’m suggesting Anawangin for next, the sunsets are said to be some of the best in the WORLD.

I’m glad I got to buckle down and write for once. Really writing is a joy. There’s a reason I carry a notebook with me at all times and it’s not to look cool.

You hold a box, this is a magic box. It captures MOMENTS.

Think about that the next time you pick up a camera.

I don’t give a crap about how advanced your camera is.
I don’t care that it’s worth more than I’ll make in two years.

I start caring when you take great shots.

But let’s go back to moments. What I look for in a photo are captured moments.

Your technical knowledge is squat when you take meaningless photos.
Your extremely powerful camera is impotent.
All the pixels in the world can’t change that.

One of photography’s most interesting problems is the simple fact that it is an art form predicated on capturing a three-dimensional impression onto a two-dimensional expression.

Most people forget this and they end up shooting whatever it is that caught their eye as if it were still 3D. Thing is, unless your camera is specialized for it, you end up with a 2D image. Something that looked really interesting in 3D may look like crap when you force it into flatland. People can’t help it, we see the world in 3D. Binocular vision is something we were born with.

Looking at the world in two-dimensions isn’t something that we’re all used to. Important thing is to either plan out the photo in two dimensions or add a semblance of depth with the composition and lines.

Parents are out

Sister is bitching

Gotta stay at home

Ah well

No comic run tonight

Tomorrow then

Edit: No comics. So tomorrow’s review will be for a “Guilt free TPB”

A wide lens
A fast prime
A fast telephoto

BUT

1 is enough
2 is playing safe
3 can be too much

bringing more than that can be stupid.

Why? You’re going to be thinking too much.
You’re going to be thinking about which lens to use.

CONSTANTLY rethinking your shots will mess you up.
Your photos will suffer. YOU will suffer.

Learn to stick with one lens.
Learn to figure out which lens to bring.
Learn to move so that you can still compose no matte what your lens is.
Learn about your camera, learn about your lenses.

Part 1: Position

Alliteration aside, an abomination in astounding amount.

There’s no need to wrangle like crazy for space.
Simple enough, get to your place and plant your ass there.
BEND your knees so he can’t push you out.
Plant your ass there and raise up your hand to get the ball.

You do your moves after. FIRST, get into POSITION.
STEP ONE: GET INTO POSITION.

I spent most of last night passed out on my bed and woke up at around 2AM to news I didn’t expect.

JD Salinger dead at 91. Dude was 91 so welp, it was all good. I dunno though, sorta expected the old coot to live ’til he was 130 or some such as punishment for shunning the world so much. HAHAHAHAHA!

So, later today, I may have a comic run and I may have a night out with buddies. In a friend’s house.

No RX thanksgiving party for me sad to say. All good, all good. Too many people in those parties, not all of whom I like.

So, I might be having another sausage fest thing again. Anyone interested?

The chaff falls, and burns
I watch the fires dance
there is nothing here for me

It rages, the flames, it moves
reaching the tree, which ignites
apples, like hearts, all aflame
do I add fuel, I wonder
the entire field is ablaze

standing apart, aloof
and yet, I cannot help but feel
Guilt? Confusion?
nothing but an ache

I stand, shaking the ashes off
naught but a field of black
I turn my back to it
I leave this place
I move on

1/27/10
Fueled by boredom
church thing. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT???

Girlfriend – *Nsync
Music and Lyrics HERE

Lovefool – The Cardigans
Music and Lyrics HERE

Stolen – Dashboard Confessional
Music and Lyrics HERE