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Tag Archives: emotional crap

Girlfriend – *Nsync
Music and Lyrics HERE

Lovefool – The Cardigans
Music and Lyrics HERE

Stolen – Dashboard Confessional
Music and Lyrics HERE

Staring out into the city lights

Five flights of stairs
on the roof deck now

“What am I doing here?”
I ask myself
fearing the answer

I look out into the world
I wonder
“This is all there is?”
“Is there nothing more?”

I look down into the streets
I watch
the running, the hurrying
the hustle and bustle
the sturm and drang

I look at myself
I ask
“Am I one of them?”
“Will I always be running to my death?”

I am standing on the edge
no longer afraid
I’m unsure

I am on my knees
I have done nothing

I cry

9/9/09

So yeah, alot of guys hate chick flicks. We have to be hard people and chick flicks don’t fit into that paradigm. BUT, there are Guy chick flicks, or MAN flicks, movies that make a guy tear up, movies that make us mumble, “a real man isn’t afraid to cry”. Yes, these are are movies that men will not be ashamed to admit that they cried to. I’ve been trying to come up with a list of my own so that if you haven’t seen them maybe you should. So here we go.

The Transformers movie
No, not the live action one, the cartoon one, the 1986 one. The part where Optimus Prime dies and gives up the Matrix of Leadership to Ultra Magnus is one of the greatest scenes EVER in cartoons. The lines “But Prime… I’m… I’m just a soldier. I’m not worthy.”, “Nor was I.” tears me up every time…

Saving Private Ryan
Final decisive battle against the Nazis, hopelessly outnumbered. Unafraid to give one’s life so that one man can go home to his family. Then the fast forward to the present day where that same man says, “My family is with me today. They wanted to come with me. To be honest with you, I wasn’t sure how I’d feel coming back here. Every day I think about what you said to me that day on the bridge. And I’ve tried to live my life the best I could. I hope that was enough. I hope that at least in your eyes, I’ve earned what all of you have done for me.”

Field of Dreams
“If you build it, HE will come.” ‘Nuff said.

Varsity Blues
You want a slow clap moment? Here. “Now if we go out there, and we half-ass it ’cause we’re scared, all we’re left with is an excuse; we’re always gonna wonder. But if we go out there, and we give it absolutely everything – that’s heroic. Let’s be heroes.”

I’m tired.

Two weeks of trying to stay in control even though I know I’m going into stupid mode.
Three weeks of going crazy over SOMEONE I DON’T KNOW.
Three weeks of TRYING, trying to turn back to reason.

and now, I’m TIRED.

I know this is HOPELESS. I know I DON’T HAVE A CHANCE.
but, BUT, sometimes you still have to hope.

and it’s those times that you will FAIL.
those times that you will look around and say,

“I should have listened to MYSELF”

The question becomes “how do you do that?” How do you let go of something you never held in the first place?

But the first question is “why?” I want to do this because THERE IS NO CHANCE.

I’m not going to lie to myself. That would be delusional.
I’m not going to live in some fantasy world where I get the girl.
I’m not going to think I actually have a chance when it’s obvious I don’t.

In the end, I’ll end up fooling only myself.
And I don’t like that.

If you follow me on this blog, TWITTER or on TUMBLR you’d know I’ve been in a funk lately ‘coz my Turtle died. Pathetic, I know. You would also know that my little sister left a gift on my bed. It took me the better part of an hour before I opened it.

What was inside?

A rock.

No, she’s not a weirdo. It was the rock I put in Glutton’s(yes, I happen to name my pets from their attributes) aquarium. On the rock was a munggo sculpture of a turtle. It came with a letter, actually, a letter split into two(literally two pieces of paper).

“This is Glutton’s rock.”
“Even if Glutton is gone he will always be in your heart.”

Let me go back to crying now.

I’m not a pet person. I actually hate mammals. I’m really a reptile person.
So yeah, my first REAL pet. A softshell turtle named Glutton.

He just died.

I saw him lying still in the aquarium. Picked him up to clean the container and he just didn’t move. Not even his eyes moved.

Okay, in true pathetic fashion, I cried. I’m also in a funk right now.

It may not be a biggie but it was important for me. This was the first time I took care of a life other than mine and it really gave me a sense of self.

Today’s Top10 is “The Top10 signs you are in love.” sent in by Rhix aka Purplerose.

What if you’re in denial? Then things get muddled.
What if you’ve got expectations that you don’t want? Then things get crazy.
What if you’re afraid? Then things get tense.

Do you just let go? I can’t seem to do that.

What’s your deal? Do you have problems with being in love or do you just accept it and see what happens in the end?

Another repost from my multiply blog. Another poem.

Dreaming away

Better that people don’t see me

They’ll never understand

Maybe I’ll hear your voice

And that will make me happy

Better that people don’t know

Just wishing

Maybe I’ll admit it

And that’s all I’ll show

Better that I don’t want to

It’s the easy way

Maybe someday I’ll try

And then it’s up to you

It really isn’t all that different today

Headphones on, dreaming away

July 19, 2007

I’m all good right now. Not like I lost anything. Not like I wasted something.

But I came away with a lot of respect for that person. I didn’t feel bad at all. I guess I have to be honest that I was expecting the no rather than yes. Just not how it came about. Hehe! Ah well, it was really nice, if a bit akward, I wouldn’t have changed anything with how it went down(except maybe the overall FAIL of it).

So thanks to that person. No more akward shit, right?