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Monthly Archives: April 2009

Okay. It’s going to be an interesting marriage when:

Both the groom AND bride do SENTAI poses with the Groom’s barkada.
The groom can’t dance but still tries. REALLY tries.

The bride laughs at the crazy photos the groom takes with his friends.

The groom goes against tradition because a marriage is the start of something new(how HSM).

The groom’s friends(who number TWO TABLES ONLY) out noise the rest of the guests COMBINED.
About half of the groom’s friends are photographers(from advanced amateur to professional).

The fun begins when the people leave.
The bride knows when to join in the fun.

I’ll be part of a group of photographers
I’ll be known for my various styles when it comes to photography
I’ll be a successful writer

None of these are in my immediate future.

All I have now is the drive to learn. The need to improve myself.

It’s what will eventually separate me from everyone else.

It’s why I will grab EVERY chance to practice.
It’s why I can’t let my tumblr go even for a day.
It’s why I post older photos, to remind me WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT.

Photography is catching someone’s attention and making them spout profanities about your photograph.
Photography is about bringing somebody INTO the photograph.
Making them TASTE the food.
Making them FEEL the salty spray of the waves.

I am not amused.

Neither am I famous. Nor popular. Nor am I deserving of such a dubious honor.

I guess my only real consolation is that as soon as I find you, I’ll catch you and we will have a long talking to.

Keeping my cool right now is a little hard. There is no reason any SANE person would pose as me. What are you trying to do? Get geeks to add you?

Please, that’s pathetic.

42 hours without sleep. I passed out early this morning at around 1AM.

Admittedly, it was my fault, I had insomnia and I got REALLY depressed being home alone. So I invited people over, AT 2AM…

So yeah, I ended up not sleeping. Now I need to eat bananas and drink Gatorade for the electrolytes or I may be in a grave situation soon.

Back to reality, family’s back. Time to clean up my act.

LET ME FLAME YOU BITCHES!!!

I’m in a flaming mood. Never a good thing. This is a sign of an impending low. Low meaning depression. I’m bi-polar, see. For the oldies, you call that manic-depressive. For most of the weekend I was manic. I even scared one of the most hyper people in the world. Not a good sign.

What’s worse is that the surest sign for the LOW for me is the second wind. I haven’t slept since Saturday night. I actually got sick Saturday night and I barely slept. About an hour of sleep.

Sunday night? I didn’t sleep. I had a few friends over and it was CRAZY. I swear to God. The worst part is that I assumed I would get to sleep because I was crazy tired with the swimming and all that crap but no. At around 5AM, I got my second wind.

People stay away, I’m in a mood I can’t control.

Alesha Dixon’s song “Breathe slow” is a current favorite of mine. It’s something I need to learn. I need to take the time out. I need to cool it down.

Can’t forget to breathe slow
Count from one to ten

–> Yeah, take it slow. Relax. Don’t get ahead of yourself TReiz.

I love you too much it shows
All my emotions go
Out of control oh whoa whoa
Good for you bad for me
When I can hardly see
From the tears that flow oh whoa

–> This is killing me. I’m immensely obvious when I’m interested. I don’t lose control but I’m afraid to. It’s not a basless fear, never was.

Somebody better hold me back
You’re lucky I know how to act
(so lucky ain’t gonna attack)
I’m being calm and cool
But believe me you
It’s taking everything to just
Breathe breathe breathe…

–> Yeah, this is the sum of how I feel right now but the fight isn’t with anyone else, it’s with myself.

Or maybe it’s a sign of FAIL. I’m quoting a friend and my response to her.

“Why are you afraid, you’ve always skirted the edge but never gone beyond?”
“It’s the fear of going over that edge that keeps me detached.”

I’m truly of the opinion that maybe if i was not so “nice” I’d have much more to my name. Just to clarify, I’m not the nicest guy out there BUT alot of people say I am.

I’m also REALLY aware of my boundaries and stuff. It’s what prevents me from trying to barge in on a nice healthy relationship or using search engines to find out more about my current crush. Thing is, it may just be something natural. Wanting to find out more about someone you’re interested in is a natural response. Not for me. Not for someone with my level of obsessing.

I was FAR more productive.

Let me explain.
Productive in terms of my OWN growth.

I could really go out and learn about my craft, my art of photography.
I could really GROW. Learn my own style.

Now that I’m working, I’ve lost alot of those opportunities do gain experience and skills that could help me.

I’m tired.

Two weeks of trying to stay in control even though I know I’m going into stupid mode.
Three weeks of going crazy over SOMEONE I DON’T KNOW.
Three weeks of TRYING, trying to turn back to reason.

and now, I’m TIRED.

I know this is HOPELESS. I know I DON’T HAVE A CHANCE.
but, BUT, sometimes you still have to hope.

and it’s those times that you will FAIL.
those times that you will look around and say,

“I should have listened to MYSELF”

Just talk.
READ before you post. Ah well.
LOSE.